Recovery During the Holidays: Turning Thanksgiving into a Turning Point with Sierra Health & Wellness

• A shared meal bringing generations together.
• A sense of homecoming: connecting across distances, pausing from work or daily routines.
• A ritual of gratitude: each person saying what they’re thankful for, reconnecting with what matters.
• Memory-making: stories, photographs, new traditions, children’s laughter.

When addiction or mental-health struggles are present, these very same values—togetherness, belonging, memory‐making—take on both extra importance and extra challenge. The holiday table becomes a pivotal setting: can we lean into what’s working, what’s healing, what’s hopeful?

In the context of recovery, gratitude isn’t just a feel-good extra—it can serve as a superpower. Research shows that gratitude practices support connectivity, self-worth, and resilience. For example, a study found that a simple “Three Good Things” writing exercise helped individuals recovering from alcohol-use disorders experience more positive emotion and reduced relapse risk. Other sources highlight how gratitude helps individuals in early recovery build relationships, support systems, and internal stability.

Why gratitude helps:

• It shifts mindset from “What have I lost?” or “What’s broken?” to “What do I have now that matters?” and “What’s possible?”
• It anchors you in the present—helping navigate difficult emotions, triggers, or holidays when expectations and tensions run high.
• It reinforces connection—to yourself, your recovery, your loved ones, and your values. Gratitude fosters prosocial behavior, trust and belonging.

Practical gratitude strategies for Thanksgiving:

• Before the meal, invite attendees (or do it privately) to share one thing they’re grateful for.
• Create a “gratitude jar” or note-board: guests write what they appreciate, then read aloud (if comfortable) after the meal.
• If you’re the person in recovery, write a personal gratitude letter ahead of the gathering: for your journey, for your decision to change, for the opportunity to be present.
• When conversations become difficult or triggers arise (old family patterns, shame, relapse talk), consciously pause and mentally—or aloud—return to gratitude: “I’m thankful I’m here sober,” “I’m thankful I have this chance to choose something different.”

By practicing gratitude intentionally, the holiday becomes less a minefield and more a meaningful checkpoint for your growth and healing.

Families affected by addiction often face a painful dynamic: one member’s untreated alcohol or substance-use problem can disrupt the gathering, create triggers for children or other vulnerable relatives, and undermine the safety or recovery of others. It’s important to recognize that it’s okay—and sometimes necessary—to set boundaries.

Why boundary-setting matters:

• It protects the emotional safety of all attendees, including children, from harmful modeling or enabling behavior.
• It preserves the integrity of the sober person’s recovery—ensuring the gathering of loved ones and supports, rather than undermines, their progress.
• It affirms the family’s values: choosing wellness, connection, and presence. This helps to reduce potential chaos and/or denial created when the family boundaries are not identified or honored.

How to set healthy boundaries:

• Communicate ahead of time: “This year we’re gathering with the intention of being sober and present. We’ll only invite family who are willing to respect that.”
• Clarify expectations: e.g., “We’ll ask that no alcohol is brought in, or that all attendees commit to being sober by a certain time.”
• Offer alternative: “We value you and we hope you’ll join when you’re ready to be sober and part of a healthy celebration.”
• Make protective decisions: It may mean excluding a family member if they persist in disruptive behavior, refusal to attempt recovery, or behavior that threatens children’s wellbeing or the celebratory tone.
• Recognize that boundary-setting is not about punishment, but about care: care for your children, for the person in recovery, for the family system.

New tradition: exclusion as prevention

Rather than simply allowing the same “everyone at the table” approach year after year, the family can choose a new tradition: for example, a sober-focus gathering, or a separate celebration for those committed to recovery. In doing so, the family sends a clear message: “We want you with us—but we also want a safe, sober, and meaningful gathering.”

When addiction or mental-health issues have disrupted past holiday gatherings, this Thanksgiving may be your moment to reinvent how the holiday works. Choosing new traditions supports healing, connection, and intention.

Ideas for new traditions:

• Host a “Recovery Thanksgiving” potluck where all guests commit to sobriety for the gathering; keep the atmosphere relaxed, warm, non-alcohol-centric.
• Instead of a focus on the meal alone, include an activity: morning walk, gratitude circle before dinner, a family “mission board” with hopes for the coming year, volunteer together.
• Involve children meaningfully: let them write gratitude notes, share what they appreciate about family, or participate in a “gratitude tree” or “memory box” tradition.
• Choose a different time or location to reduce old triggers: e.g., earlier in the day, outside, smaller group, fewer distractions.
• Use the holiday as a marker for recovery: for the person in care, maybe the holiday is spent in a safe environment (treatment program) or with a small sober-friendly gathering. At Sierra Health & Wellness Centers, our inpatient residential addiction treatment and mental health programs can offer that structured, supportive environment leading into or out of the holiday.

By designing the gathering with recovery and connection in mind, rather than defaulting to old patterns, you create a space of renewal—one where joy, presence, and purpose replace old pain and disruption.

If you are the person struggling with alcohol addiction, you may face the very real possibility of being excluded from the holiday gathering because of relapse, disruptive behavior, or refusal to engage in recovery. While this can feel devastating, it also carries an opportunity for transformation.

The emotional landscape of exclusion:

• You may feel like you’re outside looking in: hearing laughter, seeing photos, imagining the traditions you once shared, while you’re elsewhere or not included.
• You may feel guilt, shame, regret—recognizing how your choices have impacted loved ones, the memories you missed, the traditions you didn’t uphold.
• And yet: your absence also impacts your loved ones. They may feel worry, loss, incompleteness, “the seat that’s empty,” the missing puzzle piece of your presence.

Turning absence into reflection, sound and movement:

Instead of experiencing the holiday solely as loss or rejection, you can use this moment as a turning point—a place to understand the impact of addiction and envision a healthier future.

• Ask yourself: What do I want back in my life? What do I want to give back to my family?
• Use the time to reflect on your recovery: where you are, where you’ve been, and where you want to go.
• Incorporate sound, music, exercise, or movement as reflection tools: Listening to grounding music, taking a walk, stretching, or engaging in gentle exercise can help release emotion, clear your mind, and create mental space for honest self-evaluation. Movement can unlock clarity that stillness alone cannot.
• Consider this year a marker: next year, imagine showing up—sober, connected, present, contributing.
• Reach out for help: Whether it’s contacting Sierra’s admissions team, attending a support group, entering treatment or detox if needed, use this holiday as the pivot.
• Practice gratitude even in absence: “I’m grateful someone still cares about me enough to notice I’m missing.” “I’m grateful for the opportunity to change.” Gratitude at this stage is not naive—it’s courageous.

By reframing your absence not as pure punishment but as a call to action and a call to reflection, you give yourself the greatest gift: the chance to rejoin your loved ones next year as someone different—someone present, someone healing.

This Thanksgiving holds a special potential. For families, it’s an opportunity to protect the joy of gathering, to build traditions that support wellness, to set boundaries that reflect values of safety, presence, and connection. For individuals in recovery or on the verge of it, the holiday can be more than a challenge—it can be a turning point.

Embrace gratitude. Create new traditions. Set boundaries when needed. And if you’re facing the hardest choice of being absent this year—know that this very moment can mark the beginning of your next chapter.

At Sierra Health & Wellness Centers, we’re here to support both sides of the story: the person taking the courageous step toward recovery, and the family seeking to create meaningful, sober-focused gatherings. If you or a loved one needs help preparing for the holidays—and beyond—reach out. Let this Thanksgiving be the year you don’t simply endure—but you transform.

Today: write down three things you’re grateful for. Carry them with you into the gathering, or into the time ahead. You deserve the chance to sit at that table—not shadowed by addiction—but fully present, fully connected, fully alive.